Angband - Tales From The Pit. December 2005 to June 2006

Back to the main page

December 30, 2005 - The Less-Than-Glorious Beginning

And so, the new Angband comic begins. At the time of writing this, I have a backlog of fifty strips, so on a Monday-Wednesday-Friday update schedule, you're guaranteed at least two and a half months of updates. Go comic!

January 2, 2006 - Overstretching the Title Strip

Early glimpses of sarcasm...

January 4, 2006 - Checklist

Hands up those of you who aren't above a little... 'tinkering' with the edit files?

January 6, 2006 - The Attention Seeker

It's good to have your own little band of followers, isn't it? :-)

January 9, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 1

The first in a series of guidelines for good and polite Angband gaming.

January 11, 2006 - A Cunning Ploy

Technically, he didn't tell a lie...

January 13, 2006 - Meet Sauron

Please do not taunt the demigods.

January 16, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 2

Variety is the spice of life.

January 18, 2006 - Dinner Theatre

There's not much to do for entertainment around here, is there?

January 20, 2006 - Whoops!

Don't believe everything you see in the movies.

January 23, 2006 - Guilty Conscience?

"Don't you feel terrible about mauling and mutilating all those groups of helpless little kobolds? So much smaller and weaker than you, even though there's more of them? Well, no, we don't either - but Explorington III obviously does. Poor sap."

January 25, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 3

All hail the mighty Random Number God, for it is fearful, and so very petty.

January 27, 2006 - Emergency Meditation

Yes, we know it takes years of meditation and inner peace before you even come close to Nirvana. Stop bickering, and go buy their latest album.

January 30, 2006 - Not a game for thinkers

When two roads diverge in a yellow wood... you do eventually have to pick one of them, y'know.

February 1, 2006 - Handy Tricks

What goes around, comes around.

February 3, 2006 - Idiot at the Gate

Morgoth's Human Resources director recently resigned over a dispute about pay, living conditions, and something to do with a chicken (which we're not allowed to disclose). This lead to a sharp decline in the standards of dungeon monsters hired.

February 6, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 4

Some days, you think they're out to get you. Some days... they are.

February 8, 2006 - Outside Consultancy

Guaranteed to drive a Human, Elf or Dwarf insane within 3 hours, or your money back!

February 10, 2006 - Always when I'm in the bath...

Explorington III would later come to regret this decision not to listen to the holy order, as it turned out the pamphlets they were handing out were copies of the rare and valulable prayerbook "Purifications and Healing".

February 13, 2006 - Next time, remember to invite me!

No, our hero isn't bitter about no-one remembering his birthday...

February 15, 2006 - When shopkeepers have a monopoly

Consider the number of adventurers in the pit. Consider the number of monsters, summoned monsters and quick-breeding monsters. Which group is likely to provide more business and have more money and sellable treasure. And thus, which group is it more important to keep happy?

February 17, 2006 - Top Side Story

Sometimes, you've just gotta sing. And sometimes you've just gotta rip off someone else's songs.

February 20, 2006 - Urban Graffiti

For those of you wanting to know what those little bastards wrote on Explorington's home... don't ask. You really don't want to know.

February 22, 2006 - Someone has a grudge

The appropriate response is either the heroic, but foolish "I'll take you all on!", or the sensible and practical "Whatever he's paying... I'll double it!"

February 24, 2006 - Misunderstanding Game Mechanics

This is why variants should only be made by skilled programmers with plenty of gaming experience.

February 27, 2006 - Guest Strip 1 - Always Be Prepared

Drawn by a good friend of mine, a lovely girl - Hetal, the first guest strip ever shows the importance of Boy Scout Training.

March 1, 2006 - Guest Strip 2 - Oldest Trick In The Book

Hetal's second guest strip. Yes... those orcs are exactly as dumb as you think they are.

March 3, 2006 - Guest Strip 3 - I Hate Temporal Mechanics

A guest strip by Olli Tietavainen, also known as Otie. As every good Star Trek fan knows, effect can precede cause, when time is involved :-)

March 6, 2006 - The Colour of Reality

This makes a lot more sense to those of you who played on Windows machines... Though thankfully the Windows version of Nethack I have now displays black-on-white.

March 7, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 5

Gluteus Constrictus... that moment of sheer buttock-clenching terror when you realise that *yes*, that amazing once-only item is within your price range... but only if you sell some really really nice items...

March 8, 2006 - Not Invited

What? You don't think the townsfolk spent all their time just wandering aimlessly round the town? Outside of tourist season?

March 9, 2006 - Wait until you see the whites of their eyes

There's such a thing as being too close to the action.

March 10, 2006 - The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword

Just be glad that Explorington didn't read from Mordekainen's Book of Disturbing Mental Images. We're not allowed to draw what would happen if he did - this is not an X-rated comic.

March 13, 2006 - The Gods are frivolous

Ringil? The 4d5 Longsword, best weapon in the game? Never heard of it, no sir, you didn't find it.

March 14, 2006 - The Gods Are Also Bastards

The divine beings must get really bored with sitting around on clouds all day...

March 15, 2006 - Here Come the Moochers

No you may not have any of my stash. Yes, I know there's lots of it. Yes, I know I couldn't ever drink all of it. BUT I EARNED IT AND IT'S ALL MINE! NOW GO AWAY!

March 16, 2006 - Democracy Doesn't Work

"It is not enough to have every intelligent person in the country voting for me. I need a majority." - Adlai Stevenson

March 17, 2006 - An Even More Cunning Ploy

When in doubt, appeal to the lowest common denominator.

March 20, 2006 - Guest Strip 4 - Change Isn't Always For The Best

A guest comic by somniloquy (also known as Rob) - a talented fractal artist, and found at

March 21, 2006 - Freedom of Speech

Can you really imagine a white-robed glowing angel, a force of good and purity... swearing like a drunken soldier?

March 22, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 6

A fool and his money are soon parted... the biggest fools have their limbs parted from their bodies before they even get the money

March 23, 2006 - The Perils Of Greed

Explorington was rather embarassed to realise that he'd been taken in by such a cheap trick. Especially as seven of the forty five previous times were him too.

March 24, 2006 - Limericks Of Warning

Poetry in motion.

March 27, 2006 - The Trouble With Base Instincts

It's hard to resist the call of the beast... or the moron.

March 28, 2006 - Late for Work (Part 1/2)

Everyone sleeps in once in a while... Our valiant hero is no different. Except that he's sleeping on MY TIME! WAKE UP YOU LAZY BASTARD!

March 29, 2006 - Late for Work (Part 2/2)

I give up. I really do, you can't get the staff nowadays.

March 30, 2006 - Does Your Mother Know About That?

Ah, *that* book. Erm... A fine collection of artistic images, and, er, tasteful drawings and pictures. Not pornographic at all. Honestly. Really.

March 31, 2006 - To The Nth Dimension

Where N = 3, of course.

April 3, 2006 - Postcard From The Depths

Even the dungeons of Angband have a gift shop...

April 4, 2006 - Should Have Paid More Attention In Mage School

Explorington didn't get high marks in "Blasting and Destruction spells", but he was top of the class in "Illusions and Pyrotechnics"

April 5, 2006 - Point The Camera In The Right Direction

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzt... we apologise for the inconvenience. Normal programming will resume as soon as possible.

April 6, 2006 - A Priest With Ten Seconds To Live

After the bloody Registration Office Massacre, the scars of which still lay on this small community, the townspeople all contributed so that safety screens could be used by employees of the Central Bureaucracy.

April 7, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 7

We've all been in this situation. Best character ever down the tubes, and the game adds insult to injury, by letting the first pathetically weak monster kill your next one. The current record is 2 minutes 49 seconds of full on ranting and swearing... without repetition, deviation or hesitation. Can you do better?

April 10, 2006 - The Perfect Witness For A Murder Trial

The ability to lie with a straight face is one of the most useful skills any amoral invidivual can develop.

April 11, 2006 - The Deepest Darkest Horrors

Apologies if you now want to surgically remove your imagination.

April 12, 2006 - Some Days, You're Better Off Staying In Bed

Just accept it. Some days you're the pigeon. Other days, you're the statue.

April 13, 2006 - A Day In The Life (1/6)

A day in the life of Explorington III... Perhaps we should have started a bit later in the day.

April 14, 2006 - A Day In The Life (2/6)

Now we're getting somewhere... Oh... wait. No we aren't.

April 17, 2006 - A Day In The Life (3/6)

It's actually a rather good little sideshow. The demons look very realistic, and the replicas of the One Ring and Anduril are almost perfect.

April 18, 2006 - A Day In The Life (4/6)

The troll in question had auctioned for the part of The Riddler in a Batman remake... and was slightly bitter about not getting the part.

April 19, 2006 - A Day In The Life (5/6)

If you don't know what Explorington's on about... shame on you, and learn of the glorious meme of Badger Badger Badger. Any search engine will provide.

April 20, 2006 - A Day In The Life (6/6)

Explorington's seemingly insane methods of haggling would pay off in years to come, as shopkeepers would give him their best prices... just to shut him up.

April 21, 2006 - This Could Take A While

Forgive me Father... for I have sinned repeatedly and enjoyed every last blood-soaked minute of it.

April 24, 2006 - This Could Take A While (2)

You never think about just how many poor innocent henchmen/women/things you've killed, do you...

April 25, 2006 - Wands Of Death

And people wonder how dragons could breathe poison...

April 26, 2006 - Flasks Of Oil Are Not Nutritious

Oh dear... I don't feel well...

April 27, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 8

Some things are in really bad taste. I mean, you kill the old guy's dogs, you kill him and loot his corpse...

April 28, 2006 - Self-conscious, Isn't He?

Explorington is rather fond of his stylish @ curves, and tapered point.

May 1, 2006 - And Now, A Word From Our Sponsors - 1

We'll be right back... after these messages.

May 2, 2006 - Most Unsporting

Is there a specific rule in the game that specifies "No murdering other players with a big sword?". I thought not.

May 3, 2006 - Cheapskate

The black market weapons economy collapsed recently. This hit Explorington hard...

May 4, 2006 - It's Not Supposed To Be Multiplayer

Send in... the clones.

May 5, 2006 - Not The Brightest Lantern In The Dungeon

It was a particular blow for Barry the kobold's ego, as he'd recently finished junior school, after eleven years of trying.

May 8, 2006 - Beware The Sound Effects

For all his brutish manner, Morgoth's unintentional sense of timing was always impeccable.

May 9, 2006 - And Now, A Word From Our Sponsors - 2

The predecessor to car boot sales, and garage sales everywhere.

May 10, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 9

Blessed be he who is honest and whose save files have never been copied.

May 11, 2006 - Coffee Coffee Coffee

WellIdefinetlythinkthis newcoffeeblendisawonderfuldrinktohave inthemorningandtheafternoonandtheevening andinfactallnightlongwheeeeeeeeee

May 12, 2006 - Please Read The Small Print

The one thing in the universe more powerful than anything else... bureaucracy.

May 15, 2006 - Guest Strip 5 - Ignorance Is Bliss

"See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Know no Evil. The first of this week's guest strips, submitted by gumby_jd, of #angband"

May 16, 2006 - Guest Strip 6 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 10

Today's guide to polite Angband gaming was provided by Sean Laurvick, in the second of this week's guest strips.

May 17, 2006 - Guest Strip 7 - The Hidden Options

"It's amazing what options you find when you press random combinations of keys... Guest strip done by Aerdan

May 18, 2006 - Best Discussed In Whispers

The kobolds tended to suffer from Evil Overlord syndrome, despite being overlords of nothing more than their boots.

May 19, 2006 - Not Meant For Mortal Eyes

Verini's Discount Insane Asylum saw a large upsurge in business that year.

May 22, 2006 - Tone Deaf

The Sandman did not regularly visit the Orcs of Angband.

May 23, 2006 - Guest Strip 8 - Carrying Capacity

Today's guest strip by Sampsa Lahtonen shows the importance of managing your inventory well.

May 24, 2006 - At Least They Make The Choice Interesting

Whenever there are enough people gathered together with one show-off... there will be gameshows.

May 25, 2006 - Deadly Punchline

Would you like a little wuxia sauce with your meal, sir?

May 26, 2006 - High Security

Millennia later, when the Lord Sumner was raised from the dead by one of his descendants, he was able to open the vault in under ten minutes. Current consensus is that he must have cheated. Somehow. Some way.

May 29, 2006 - Vive La France!


EDIT: Yes, I've been informed that the French here isn't quite right. I may eventually get round to correcting it... :-)"

May 30, 2006 - Nothing To Be Sneezed At

Explorington was known as "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" for some time after this unfortunate experiment.

May 31, 2006 - And Now A Word From Our Sponsors - 3

Form before Fashion? Nah.

June 1, 2006 - The Most Practical Decision

Dead Martyr? Or living coward? I think we can all see Explorington's logic here.

June 2, 2006 - Memory Trap

Later on, Explorington forgot a worse trap... the correct answer to "Does this dress make me look fat?"

June 5, 2006 - Guest Strip 8 - The Angband Etiquette Guide 11

Martin Bazley's contribution to the Angband Etiquette Guide clearly shows that the Random Number God has a fine sense of "Screw you".

June 6, 2006 - Decoy Of The Literate

Oddly enough, the creature's parents were just named Jo and Mo.

June 7, 2006 - You Don't Want To Hear The Really Long Answer

Due to recent mathematical discoveries, involving the use of googleplexes, it is now possible to represent the really long answer in a compact form.

June 8, 2006 - Getting The Last Laugh

The producers of "Zombies Go Wild" took great inspiration from the massacre this day.

June 9, 2006 - Divine Intervention

In his next life, Explorington instead quietly worshipped the lesser-known Dougladrian, the High God Of Juggling Implements

June 12, 2006 - Angband Physics

To date, no attempt has been made by serious physicists to apply Einstein's theories to the world of Angband. We're not sure why.

June 13, 2006 - The Angband Etiquette Guide - 12

Granny power.

June 14, 2006 - Domestic Bliss

Bids for the Angband sitcom were not appealing.

June 15, 2006 - A Bank That Knows Its Clientele

And very reasonable mortgages too.

June 16, 2006 - Two X Chromosones, Plus 20 IQ Points

Ah, the fairer sex.

June 19, 2006 - It Must Have Been Hell At School

Muff... er... Explorington's parents were not the most mentally stable of individuals. They were actually proud of the name.

June 20, 2006 - How To Ruin A Life In One Easy Step

Not amoral. Not in the slightest.

June 21, 2006 - And Now A Word From Our Sponsors - 4

Business was booming in the hired goons and lackeys industries. Why train up some guards when you can pay a little extra to have them ready at once?

June 22, 2006 - Normal Is Relative

Let it be judged by your own standards.

June 23, 2006 - The Deadly Art Of Law Fu

Through secret training and frequent use of mail-order catalogues to order the necessary research materials, Explorington managed to achieve a 4533-FF3 Belt in the art of Paperi

June 26, 2006 - Not Including Guest Strips

Yep. This is the 100th strip of my own :) When I started this comic in December, I hoped that it would get this far happily, and it seems to have done so. Plenty more comics on the way to you lot too.

June 27, 2006 - Consequences

A little divine justice, perhaps.

June 28, 2006 - Comic Title

Witty remark and saracastic commentary.

June 29, 2006 - The Long Wait

I'm going now. I may be some time.

June 30, 2006 - Perils of the Gullible

The shopkeeper in question had unfortunately believed everything the salesman said. Even the part about the complimentary puppy.